“How to acknowledge children in the presence of their siblings?”
Speaking of acknowledging children, how do we do it without indirectly hurting the other child or unknowingly forcing him/her to compare himself/herself with the other?
When they’re together – It’s useful to say something on these lines-
“I notice that You all have unique strengths, like Neha is … and Sneha is…
You will continue developing more strengths that are unique only to you. This is a great advantage becoz you can leverage each other’s strengths when required. Gosh! Imagine if all of you were good at the same thing! “
Then ask- What you think it would be like, if you all had the same skills?
Be ready to receive a tacky answer, especially if you’re dealing with tweens/teens. 🙂
But they’ve heard you and it will sink in.
Yes, it’s best NOT to compare children with their siblings or with friends – which is extremely common in families. If not anything – we compare them to our own childhood. You know, when I was your age na….
Having said that I have observed that some amount of competitive feelings do exist among siblings. It’s hard for mothers, but it helps to accept it.
When is a good time?
When you are alone with the older child acknowledge the older, likewise with the younger child. Some parents I know plan time/a date with each separately.
Don’t we all like to be told about what we do well, it’s the same with children!