30 Jun 2018

“How to acknowledge children in the presence of their siblings?”

Speaking of acknowledging children, how do we do it without indirectly hurting the other child or unknowingly forcing him/her to compare himself/herself with the other?

When they’re together – It’s useful to say something on these lines- 

“I notice that You all have unique strengths, like Neha is … and Sneha is…
You will continue developing more strengths that are unique only to you. This is a great advantage becoz you can leverage each other’s strengths when required. Gosh! Imagine if all of you were good at the same thing! “

Then ask- What you think it would be like, if you all had the same skills? 
Be ready to receive a tacky answer, especially if you’re dealing with tweens/teens. 🙂 
But they’ve heard you and it will sink in. 

Yes, it’s best NOT to compare children with their siblings or with friends – which is extremely common in families. If not anything – we compare them to our own childhood. You know, when I was your age na….

Having said that I have observed that some amount of competitive feelings do exist among siblings. It’s hard for mothers, but it helps to accept it. 

When is a good time?

When you are alone with the older child acknowledge the older, likewise with the younger child. Some parents I know plan time/a date with each separately.

Don’t we all like to be told about what we do well, it’s the same with children!


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