Let them shine! Each one is a star.

Let them shine! Each one is a star.
Nina is 45, she came to us because she feels stuck in various areas of her life. As we worked together, we found that although she aspires to do something of value, she lacks inner motivation to sustain. She wants success but wants someone else to do it for her, finances freak her out and is unable to achieve the goals she sets in various areas of her life.

 

This is how childhood patterns manifest in adult life.
As a child someone wrote her notes, she was constantly told what to do and it decided by others what she should become. She was the “good girl” who obeyed- that was the only way she would be accepted. Her own sense of self did not blossom and as an adult of today, it is working against her.

 

As parents we desire that our children become independent. However they becoming independent is also very scary, especially for mothers. Our lives revolved around nurturing these little lives and the thought of not be wanted anymore brings a huge sense of loss. We cling on tighter. We know it’s not right yet we unconsciously drive, instruct, nag, lecture, protect, do too much for them  and feel guilty about doing so.

 

But this act of holding our children close to our chest comes at a huge price for our children and parents.

 

Lets encourage responsibility, autonomy and expression. Allow them to take small decisions. Discuss big decisions. Give them choices. Teach them life skills like managing an account or basic cooking. Allow them to choose their clothes and dress themselves up. Allow them to excel in the hobbies they love. Have meaningful talks with them  about life. Ask them questions.

 

Let’s allow them to shine under the sun. They are sure to wilt under our shadow.

 

Have a great week ahead.

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